On a Friday in April, 29th the date,
Prince Willam of England weds sweetheart Kate.
To him she's his 'Babykins', to her he's 'Big Willy',
But not in the service, for that would sound silly.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, eyebrows combed aloft,
Officiates the ceremony in tones unctuous and soft,
Audible not only to the groom and bride,
But relayed by tannoy to the crowds outside.
Best Man, brother Harry hands over the ring,
It's slipped on Kate's finger and the choir doth sing.
Tears and sighs from the congregation,
Shouts of joy throughout the nation!
Proud father Prince Charles beams at spouse Camilla
She answers with a smile not unlike Godzilla.
The Queen casts a glance at her husband the Duke,
He nods in approval, or is it rebuke?
Unlike Princess Diana, now food for worm,
Catherine's a commoner – is she fit for "The Firm"?
Although pretty and posh and on no account coarse,
Will it not, like their other kids, end up in divorce?
The cathedral is packed with the guests they've invited,
The nobles and royals, the sirs and the knighted.
But who's this amongst them, Allbritton, a Yank?
Joe's a billionaire tycoon, former owner of Riggs Bank.
In the past he laundered money for dictator Pinochet,
But he's a pal of Charlie's, so let's look the other way.
It's best not put him under too close investigation,
He gives a lot of money to the Prince of Wales Foundation.
On top of that, we must not forget,
He lets the heir-apparent use his private jet.
Many mates of the Prince are present – some go back a long way –
Here's ex-girlfriend Lucia Santa Cruz, fan of Pinochet.
In 2000 she helped the dictator, murderer and torturer vile
To escape extradition from UK to face a Spanish trial.
Blame her for introducing Camilla to the Prince.
She hooked him back in 1973 – they've been together since.
Here's German Juergen Pierburg, Nazi industrialist's billionaire son,
A former playboy, he loved his fun.
Chum of the Prince, he now deals in pricey works of arts
Popular with London's jet set high-society farts.
And here's a Rear Admiral, David Gosling by name.
He scratched the Prince's back, and Charles will do the same.
He made 298 million when he sold his National Car Park Lot,
And he let Charles and Camilla use Leander, his 246 foot yacht.
British taxpayers paid for the cruise, so it seemed only right
That he and his girlfriend Gabriella should be issued an invite.
Timur Kuanyshev, Kazakh oligarch, has made millions from gas and oil.
His generosity to the Prince's funds makes him a friend most loyal.
Out of all his friends in the Kazakh nation,
Timur is worthy of an invitation.
And then there are the other royals, the list could go on longer,
The King of Saudi, Thailand, Jordan, and even little Tonga.
The King of Bahrain won't be there, it's really not surprising,
For there's trouble in his Kingdom – a popular uprising.
The people there have had enough, they want the monarch out.
They've taken to the streets in protest, for justice loud they shout.
But in the streets of London, during the Royal Wedding Day grand
Thousands of police are on patrol, and protests have been banned.
But the dissenters are there and their voice will be heard.
Enough of this class system and monarchy absurd!
While the wedding guests sit cosy in the Abbey on their butts
The poor people of Britain suffer from vicious Conservative cuts.
While the British Prime Minister bows low to the Queen
The public observe the class system obscene.
Take heed of the rumblings, William and Kate,
The time has come to abdicate!
Abolish the monarchy, and let there not be a sequel!
Instead, from now on let's all be equal!
Michael Dickinson lives in Istanbul. He can be contacted at his website -http://yabanji.tripod.com/
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