targeting women
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- Rekha Basu
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A group of women friends sat around a dinner table Tuesday shooting the breeze about the usual stuff - work, love, politics. And the latest preoccupation: Fear. Since the killing April 8 of 27-year-old Realtor Ashley Okland, many women around town are feeling more vulnerable than usual - which for some, was vulnerable enough.
One told of an escape from a foiled assault years ago in a remote area. Others shared their own brushes with danger. Several said they never sleep soundly when home alone for fear of an intruder.
One told of an escape from a foiled assault years ago in a remote area. Others shared their own brushes with danger. Several said they never sleep soundly when home alone for fear of an intruder.
Disturbing questions
Heartbreaking and unfathomable, Okland's killing, during an open house in West Des Moines, has served up a grim reminder that we're susceptible to violence in unexpected places, at unexpected times - even on the job. That West Des Moines Police, as of late last week, had so little information to share, compounds the anxiety.
After the shooting, over a week ago, police said it didn't appear to have been random. But since then, they've said nothing to bolster - or counter - that contention, only that people should "manage" their fears. That's not easy; not only is Okland's killer likely still on the loose, but the attack could have been prompted by anything, or nothing at all.
Heartbreaking and unfathomable, Okland's killing, during an open house in West Des Moines, has served up a grim reminder that we're susceptible to violence in unexpected places, at unexpected times - even on the job. That West Des Moines Police, as of late last week, had so little information to share, compounds the anxiety.
After the shooting, over a week ago, police said it didn't appear to have been random. But since then, they've said nothing to bolster - or counter - that contention, only that people should "manage" their fears. That's not easy; not only is Okland's killer likely still on the loose, but the attack could have been prompted by anything, or nothing at all.
Like many Realtors, Jami Trevino, who was at Tuesday's dinner, has been hit hard by the news. She knows the precautions she's supposed to take: Meet clients in public or take someone along. Copy a driver's license and give it to colleagues. But for Trevino, who's with Prudential First Realty and deals with distressed properties in unstable neighborhoods, it's not always practical. She's gone six months without a closing and has bills to pay. So she often has no time to spare: "When someone calls and says 'I want to see this house,' I go."
Iowa case not unique
In Youngstown, Ohio, last year, a 67-year-old female agent was found dead in a burning home, strangled. Two men were charged and reportedly confessed. A 71-year-old female Wisconsin Realtor was killed in 2008 in a home she was selling 25 miles east of Madison. A 34-year-old convicted sex offender and transient was charged with beating and choking her and setting the house on fire.
The National Association of Realtors publishes an online journal with safety tips from female members to others. In one, a San Francisco agent recounted going to a male client's house to write up a bid and seeing that he had framed pictures of three female real estate agents she knew on his mantelpiece. They'd been cut out of a local publication. She made an excuse to go to her car, and then fled, writing, "I felt it was better to lose a weird client than my life."
In Youngstown, Ohio, last year, a 67-year-old female agent was found dead in a burning home, strangled. Two men were charged and reportedly confessed. A 71-year-old female Wisconsin Realtor was killed in 2008 in a home she was selling 25 miles east of Madison. A 34-year-old convicted sex offender and transient was charged with beating and choking her and setting the house on fire.
The National Association of Realtors publishes an online journal with safety tips from female members to others. In one, a San Francisco agent recounted going to a male client's house to write up a bid and seeing that he had framed pictures of three female real estate agents she knew on his mantelpiece. They'd been cut out of a local publication. She made an excuse to go to her car, and then fled, writing, "I felt it was better to lose a weird client than my life."
Trevino doesn't post her picture with her listings. But anyone who searches one of her properties could get her name and find her photo through any number of websites.
And selling real estate isn't even considered a high-risk occupation.
Okland was killed as Take Back the Night events around the country highlight the ongoing threats to women's safety. The event began 36 years ago this month in Philadelphia after a young female microbiologist was stabbed to death by a stranger a block from her home.
And selling real estate isn't even considered a high-risk occupation.
Okland was killed as Take Back the Night events around the country highlight the ongoing threats to women's safety. The event began 36 years ago this month in Philadelphia after a young female microbiologist was stabbed to death by a stranger a block from her home.
"With every shadow she sees, and every sound she hears, her pounding heart flutters and skips a beat," says the Take Back the Night website, describing a woman walking alone after dark. "This scene could have occurred anywhere last night, last year, or even 100 years ago."
On Friday, Des Moines police discovered a 52-year-old woman dead in an apartment on Woodland Avenue, and are calling that, too, a homicide.
It's not that men never have to worry about their safety. They're victims of violence more often than women, though the gap has been closing. Men are 77 percent of homicide victims and 90 percent of offenders. But violence against men is less likely to be random or domestic. It's in bar fights, muggings, robberies, or a by-product of drug- and gang-related crimes. It's unlikely the average man lies awake at night worrying about a break-in at the same rate women do.
On Friday, Des Moines police discovered a 52-year-old woman dead in an apartment on Woodland Avenue, and are calling that, too, a homicide.
It's not that men never have to worry about their safety. They're victims of violence more often than women, though the gap has been closing. Men are 77 percent of homicide victims and 90 percent of offenders. But violence against men is less likely to be random or domestic. It's in bar fights, muggings, robberies, or a by-product of drug- and gang-related crimes. It's unlikely the average man lies awake at night worrying about a break-in at the same rate women do.
No one tells men to stay out of bars or that how they dress could invite attack. The Realtor. com magazine warns women against wearing short skirts and low-cut tops, noting predators "look at you like that and say 'She's asking for it.' "
Is success a factor?
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In the United States, a woman is raped every 6 minutes, whether by a stranger, acquaintance, supervisor, prison guard or someone else with authority over her. Women are the majority of sexual assault victims, in part because it's a crime of power and control, reinforced by inequality in society.
Is success a factor?
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In the United States, a woman is raped every 6 minutes, whether by a stranger, acquaintance, supervisor, prison guard or someone else with authority over her. Women are the majority of sexual assault victims, in part because it's a crime of power and control, reinforced by inequality in society.
Oddly, women are closing the crime-victimization gap with men at a time when they're equaling or even outpacing men in education and professional achievement. So does success put them at greater risk?
Marti Anderson, the director of the Crime Victim Assistance Division of the Iowa Attorney General's Office, says an emphatic no. "My gut tells me women are in more danger when they're not professionally, academically or economically independent," she said.
Marti Anderson, the director of the Crime Victim Assistance Division of the Iowa Attorney General's Office, says an emphatic no. "My gut tells me women are in more danger when they're not professionally, academically or economically independent," she said.
Statistically for women, it's actually, "safer to be on the street than in your home," says Anderson. Women are in far greater danger from someone they know than from a stranger, she says, noting 80 percent of sexual assaults on females are committed by someone they know. Sixteen women were among 39 murder victims in 2009 in Iowa. Domestic abuse accounted for 24 percent. In only 32 percent of total cases was the relationship of victim and offender listed as unknown - possibly because no offender was identified.
In the same year there were 6,341 domestic assaults, 80 percent to women.
What women can do
Needing to talk to a woman who never feels fear, I called Des Moines' Police Chief Judy Bradshaw. She doesn't.
"The odds are really against random violence," she said, reassuringly. But then, she went through 22 weeks of police academy training and has been wearing a uniform and a gun since age 20.
Bradshaw says the media tend to exploit cases of violence against women, making it appear they're more prevalent than they are. Indeed, rapes, abductions and murders of women are standard fare on the nightly news and magazine shows - while jogging, on spring break, or even, in the case of Elizabeth Smart, sleeping in the bedroom in her parents' Utah home. Most recently, there's been a series of murders of sex workers on Long Island, and a Tennessee nursing student disappeared on her way to school.
What women can do
Needing to talk to a woman who never feels fear, I called Des Moines' Police Chief Judy Bradshaw. She doesn't.
"The odds are really against random violence," she said, reassuringly. But then, she went through 22 weeks of police academy training and has been wearing a uniform and a gun since age 20.
Bradshaw says the media tend to exploit cases of violence against women, making it appear they're more prevalent than they are. Indeed, rapes, abductions and murders of women are standard fare on the nightly news and magazine shows - while jogging, on spring break, or even, in the case of Elizabeth Smart, sleeping in the bedroom in her parents' Utah home. Most recently, there's been a series of murders of sex workers on Long Island, and a Tennessee nursing student disappeared on her way to school.
Highly visible women, such as TV anchors, do get stalked, said Bradshaw, who herself has four to five stalkers at any time and "bizarre, perverted things left on my voicemail." But she says most of those perpetrators have mental health issue and "don't have the ability or the will" to carry out threats.
The killing of Ashley Okland, who was working, and not in a high-risk activity, is very rare, Bradshaw said. More commonly opportunists take advantage of women in vulnerable situations, such as those involved in drug deals, prostitution or drinking at a bar: "We get calls all the time (from) women who had way too much to drink, and left with a guy and got raped."
The killing of Ashley Okland, who was working, and not in a high-risk activity, is very rare, Bradshaw said. More commonly opportunists take advantage of women in vulnerable situations, such as those involved in drug deals, prostitution or drinking at a bar: "We get calls all the time (from) women who had way too much to drink, and left with a guy and got raped."
Bradshaw says she's not blaming victims, though defense attorneys could use the same facts to exonerate their clients. "You should be able to walk to your car at night when it's dark," she said, "but that's a high risk."
Likewise, she says predators gravitate to chat rooms where they find easy prey. But there's very little absolute privacy anymore. The Internet makes everyone a public figure.
It's unreasonable that any woman should have to go through life making special arrangements at work, to get home, or to stay alive when at home. Nor should anyone feel pressured to have a male partner to be safer.
Likewise, she says predators gravitate to chat rooms where they find easy prey. But there's very little absolute privacy anymore. The Internet makes everyone a public figure.
It's unreasonable that any woman should have to go through life making special arrangements at work, to get home, or to stay alive when at home. Nor should anyone feel pressured to have a male partner to be safer.
What we all must do
We should keep things in perspective. The threat of random violence is still relatively low for most in Iowa. Still, it's unacceptable that any woman, whether sex worker, barfly or homemaker, should have to fear the stalker, the batterer, the rapist or the killer.
We do need to take precautions, in part so we're not controlled by fear. Bradshaw isn't advising women to go out and get guns; peace of mind comes in various ways. For her widowed mother, it's sleeping on the couch. For others, it may be self-defense training or carrying mace, or a whistle, and just being smart about our surroundings.
We should keep things in perspective. The threat of random violence is still relatively low for most in Iowa. Still, it's unacceptable that any woman, whether sex worker, barfly or homemaker, should have to fear the stalker, the batterer, the rapist or the killer.
We do need to take precautions, in part so we're not controlled by fear. Bradshaw isn't advising women to go out and get guns; peace of mind comes in various ways. For her widowed mother, it's sleeping on the couch. For others, it may be self-defense training or carrying mace, or a whistle, and just being smart about our surroundings.
But this can't just be about what women must do to protect ourselves. It's about what society- and men - must do to make it safe. For those prone to violence and instability, it means getting help for their mental issues, getting a grip on their rage and not taking it out on the women around them. For their friends, co-workers and relatives, it means heeding the warning signs. Someone has to notice when someone else is acting strange or volatile, or expressing extreme hostility or thoughts of violence. Warn potential targets. Tell authorities.
Parents, raise your sons to respect women and treat them as equals. Neighbors, keep an eye out for each other.
And let's all work toward a day when men and women both can do their jobs, walk the streets after dark, and wake up knowing they are safe.
And let's all work toward a day when men and women both can do their jobs, walk the streets after dark, and wake up knowing they are safe.
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