The Great Man’s Wife
By MAUREEN DOWD
WASHINGTON
IF you want to figure out why Newt Gingrich is still out there grasping for lost power, howling at the moon like King Lear, look to Callista.
Classic Dowd - citing the classics, and in particular Shax! But, of course, darlings, everyone KNOWS, that anyone who is anyone who reads the New York Thymes has read Shax, and is fully cognizant of all Shax references, both known and obscure.
You can find her anytime standing statue-still on stage next to Newt as he speaks, gazing at him with such frozen attentiveness that she could give a master class to Nancy Reagan.
Apparently, in Dowd's eyes, Nancy Reagan was an ice queen too - actually, she gave some of the best blow jobs in Hollywood History - until she married Ronnie, and he got senile, and didn't need penile ministrations any more.
Ann Romney often introduces her husband, chatting warmly about his uxorious virtues, and then disappears offstage or to the back of the stage while he talks. But the 45-year-old Callista has created an entirely new model for a spouse, standing mute in her primary color suits and triple-strand pearls looking at the 68-year-old Newt for the whole event, her platinum carapace inclined deferentially toward his shaggy gray mane.
Dowd's fixation with the fashion choices of the presidential candidates' wives continues, unabated; after all, she DID win a Pulitzer for her coverage of Al Gore, serial liar, ersatz cowboy-boots wearer, and in needer of a slut to tell him how to be his own Man. MAUREEN, just go and fuck your sister, and your mother too, PLEASE. Get that cattiness OUT!
“She’s a transformational wife,” Alex Castellanos, the Republican strategist, told me. “She’s the wife who makes the candidate think he is destiny’s gift to mankind, born to greater things.”
AH - the Dowdy one gets a quote, from an objective outsider!
While a trophy wife is admired by her man, the admiring eyes of a Transformational Wife are there to propel her man to the next level. And when a woman who wants to be a Transformational Wife merges with a man who calls himself a Transformational Figure, you can expect a narcissistic blastoff.
NARCISSITIC BLASTOFF - is this like onanism?
Castellanos weaves the common tale of a “great but frustrated” man: “The first wife, and often the second, do not grasp his brilliance or grandeur. (Of course not - they've seen him leave the toilet seat up, the tooth paste out, his undies tossed all about, smelt his breath after an assignation with a 19-year old intern mistress, and cleaned him up off of his own puke on the bathroom floor - welcome to the REAL WORLD) The starter wives try to confine him in their small world. But his drive to fulfill his gargantuan potential is too powerful. He rebelliously breaks conventions.
“Then he finds the muse who sees him as he sees himself (For all the dinaro sand celebrity she becomes privy too, she can see him any way he wants!. He is a man of history and belongs to something larger. (Chrissakes alive - he is the son of a politician who went into politics, he is one of the political elites - he belongs only to the class of the kewl kids - the one that MODO so loves being a part of) She agrees that his rejections have been the fault of the audience. They cannot stare into a light so bright. (The light so bright? That it has shined all these years on MITTEN S? She directs and channels him, saying, ‘This is what you have to do to achieve your destiny.’ (That destiny being to be the runner up in the candidates that corporate American most wants to see run for the office of "Sheep of the Free World" - - hey, Mr Preznit wanna be - you do our bidding, and then blessed are thee!
“Now he is unleashed. The best and worst of him have been fed and watered.” (The best and worst of him is on display from his legacy of protesting the protester from the Viet Nam era! He is a spoiled, soiled, child of privelege, who was born on third base, thinks he hit a triple, and is basically another link of the ever devolving inbred social-academic-scum that rule the world (for the time being, at least).
The Republican establishment is chasing Newt around the country with a butterfly net. But when he looks into Callista’s bright blue eyes, he’s reminded of his adolescent dreams of exploring galaxies and saving civilization. (Which "he" would this be? GNEWT or MITTENS? Not at all Clear, MODO! - you drunken leso!)
When Barack is cocky and looks at Michelle, he might see her thinking: “You’re no messiah. Pick up your socks.” But when Newt is cocky and looks at Callista, he sees her thinking: “You are the messiah. We’ll have your socks bronzed.” (Maureen Dowd - mind reading Irish Catholic child-of-a-cop LEZBO ALKIE)
Where Michelle sees herself as the puncturer of delusions (Hey, MO - is this something Michelle (you name-dropping cunt, you) TOLD you, or somebody else in an interview, or is this just you imputing motive and mind-reading, you gypsy rip-off artiste! Go fuck Salzburg), “the Department of ‘Let’s Get Real,’ ” as an aide called her, Callista reinforces Newt’s delusion that he can be president — even when the staff quit en masse last June because he put pampering her above campaigning.
In business, the Transformational Wife is less complicated. In politics, she’s a double-edged spouse. She feeds his ego like a goose destined for pâté, but drains support among some women and some evangelicals who disapprove of a man who keeps trading in wives, even sick ones.
At the Texas meeting of evangelicals last month, one of the leaders, James Dobson, questioned whether Callista, “a mistress for eight years,” as he put it, would make a good first lady. Me thinks Mittens just lost the fundamentalist vote!
Gingrich’s plaint that his passion to save the country may have led him to give in to more corporeal passions did not persuade the women of Florida, who favored the Mitt-bot over him by a 24-point margin. One indignant woman I interviewed at a church in Columbia, S.C., where Newt was speaking, hurrumphed that Callista was “his Barbie.”
Draped in Tiffany diamonds, Callista is the embodiment of the divide between Gingrich’s public piety and private immorality. (GNEW travels the country with Al Sharpton, Sharpton collecting $500,000 to lobby for the efficacy of charter school over public schools - AL, being SUCH a clown, and corporate WHORE!
Gingrich’s communications director, Joe DeSantis, has airbrushed Callista’s Wikipedia page 23 times since 2008, often to banish unflattering details from the site, according to BuzzFeed’s Andrew Kaczynski.
DeSantis edited the introduction, taking out the fact that she is “the third wife of,” and excising the sentence, “She met her husband while he was in the House, and had an affair while he was conducting the impeachment investigation for President Bill Clinton.” GOD forbid the truth be told in wikipedia!
As The Washington Post’s Chris Cillizza reported, the top Google search for Gingrich in Florida during the primary there was “Callista,” right up there with “Newt wives” and “Newt scandals.”
That may be why she has a largely nonspeaking role in the campaign, as silent as the slender heroine of “The Artist,” even though Newt relays that she has described herself as a hybrid of Nancy Reagan (blow job queen of holly wood), Laura Bush (who ran over her ex-boyfriend with a motor vehicle - accidents happen) and Jackie Kennedy (the river of sludge goes on and on; it's not about me - more compassion, humanity, class than the entire republican party harem of wives, mistresses, and underage teen-aged boys that the political elites like to get their rocks off on and into). The campaign does not want to remind voters that the relationship, portrayed as so redemptive, was born in sin and hypocrisy.
There’s always a chance, of course, that Callista is not staring so intently at Newt to make him feel more Napoleonic. Maybe she just doesn’t want to let him out of her sight.
As the maxim goes, “When a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening.” (That saying does not go too far in Europe - where the mistresses invariably attend the funeral of the pol with the rest of the family!
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